Losing My Online Virginity

I am a cheating and adulterous piece of shit, incapable of faithfulnes and fidelity. My cheating heart has dumped my old flame for the newest piece of snatch available. It's not pussy I'm moaning about, but rather my giving up the tape recorder and typewriter for this laptop computer.

In the last 36 years I've written millions of words for screw (now bankrupt) and 20 years of fuck film reviews for Penthouse (now bankrupt, too) and Playboy, Forbes, NY TIMES, New York Magazine and many, many others. But I have now found true love in the folds of my Dell computer and the vibrations of the curser as I manipulate HER smooth "skin" under my trembling touch. This is the most intimate relationship I have ever had. The connection between my brain and my fingers as I pound out these ideas for your edification is now making most direct trip possible. As a result I am now doing the best writing I have done because of the tactile excitement my fingertips feel as I vomit forth words of wisdom or at the very least, words of wiley wickednes.

This is fun. I hope someone out there is listening.

These porno sites are better then Viagra! I just jerked off to MILF Hunter. Twice. A 69 year old senior citizen has found the fountain of youth. I just cleaned the schmutz off my computer. Hooray for the Hunter! Viva the Internet!